Routine

I may have bitten off more than I can chew ( I hope not.) My fourth class is "how to study for idiots 101" it's only 2 credit hours, crammed into 4 Saturdays from 8:30 to 1:30. It is a prerequisite for any student whose placement test lands him in a remedial subject. Now, since I already had to give up one of my precious slots to math 99 I was reluctant to take Idiots 101 and only have one class left to work toward my degree (I am FORTY-ONE. Times-a-wastin'). So, over twenty years after being asked to leave high school - early, by the way, I have taken a fourth class. I am overwhelmed. The pitiful excuse I have for a daily routine needs to be tightened up drastically, and fine tuned. I must somehow make it through the next eight weeks, I have too much invested, and need a sucess or two under my belt. 

I notice, at times like these, I begin to evaluate my past, and feel a twinge of disquiet. I fear my God, though I try to walk through life secure in the knowledge that my God is fond of me, that awareness spends more time in my head than in my heart. 

Simply put, I get nervous when I find myself in a mess of my own making, thinking that my performance of late, has not scored enough brownie points upstairs to rate a little extra help. Is this superstitious nonsense? Conviction? I am blessed to know many men older and/or wiser than myself. They answer both ways, and I am left to wrestle, on my own. We use the phrase "Personal Relationship". What other relationship can you have with the invisible? I come across the terms "emergent church" (huh?) and "seeker" .  My understanding of these is based strictly on context, and vague, since the higher minds seem to disagree as to the definitions. If the promise of Proverbs 8:17 is to be taken seriously, shouldn't we all be seekers?

Good night.