Self control....the first spiritual discipline

DSC_0953_edited-1, originally uploaded by Christopher Rauch.


      the indispensable prerequisite to all personal growth. Ya just can't have too much of it, and if it is lacking, it will sooner or later be felt. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" but Christ must have something to strengthen. Andy Stanley tells us that yesterday we "wrote a chapter" in our story, the saga that chronicles the unavoidable change in our character. The question is which way did we go? Did we progress, or regress? Is our path in a consistent direction? All to often, I go forward and backward In great loops, content to trudge upward ever so slowly, satisfied that I am better than I used to be. 

I watch no broadcast television. None. Sometimes, I get a little pharisee (Luke 18:9) pride about it, but lately, it occurs to me that I spend an enormous amount of time tweaking my blog, reading your blog, and posting thoughts and feelings. These are not bad things but moderation (ah, self-control!) has always been my weak point. I want to spend time in "Centering Prayer", and other spiritual disciplines. I feel starved, sometimes for a closer, more conversational relationship with the Ancient, Eternal, Holy, Perfect, God. My God. The One who loves me (can it be?) like no other.  

My Pastor spoke of prioritizing, and I keep a constant low-grade whine in my head about hearing the voice of God, and lately, It seems as if He has nudged me, and called me to a life of more self-discipline so that I can begin to practice spiritual disciplines with a little more sucess, not to win Divine approval, but so that my prayers can be answered, and one of my fondest wishes granted. My Father, perhaps, wants to give me my best (I have more than one... lol) hearts desire.

In the space of a few days, I have stumbled across many mentions of denying the flesh to feed the spirit

• The fast that God desires 
  
• The Benefits of Suffering
  
• Sabbath
• and a cool posting on getting your house in order which I couldn't find the trackback too :(

Now I think, like ms. Rachel, I need to drop back and punt, though not as extremely as she has, and probably keep my Internet tomfoolery down to weekends or something. The Blogging, and Flickr, have captured me. I need to get control of my self.

I think God told me to.

(And that money I save on cable... I spend it on Marlboros)

ΧΡΙΣΤΌΣ ΠΑΡΑΜΈΝΕΙ. (CHRIST REMAINS.)

Hmmmm...

hmmmm, originally uploaded by use2blost.

I photoshopped this one, just barely. Adjusted the saturation on the bird herself, only (I guess she's female. Aren't the males the colorful ones?... strange.). I didn't touch the sharpness, I've never been happy with the results when I do that. Even though she's a little blurry, I've posted her because she is in a TREE, not sucking juice out of a FEEDER. Kinda like the difference between hunting with a bow versus hunting with a gun... We know who is the more accomplished huntsman :D . I have seen pictures of hummers tamed to the point of being hand fed, which I'll not post, because they make me jealous. But the hummers in MY backyard don't play that... to get close enough for this shot, and to raise up the ol' finepix S8100fd without spooking her made me feel quite the wildlife photographer... ala Ilia Shalamaev (I wish!)

She Looks a Lot Better On An Uncluttered Black Background!

I emailed the dead yesterday.

Running Out of Daylight., originally uploaded by use2blost.

Is that morbid? If you send an undeliverable message, at least on Yahoo!, you will get a reply from the "Mailer Daemon". I half-expected that to happen, but evidently the account is still taking incoming mail. I missed my Dad so much, and needed so badly to talk to him about the emotional and logistical cataracts and white water that my life has become. It was pretty raw,  I wanted to engage and at some point, in my mind's eye the intended recipient grew blurry, and it was unclear if I was writing an FYI/lamentation to my deceased father, or a prayer of supplication to my Father In Heaven.  it did me a lot of good, get get some things out onto paper, if only the virtual kind. I cannot over-endorse the benefits of writing down thoughts for the severely attention deficit. Hopefully, Dad's widow, Rosemary doesn't check the account, or she may feel the need to send the Men in White Coats, but I figure the probability of that is low. CyberSpace has never had any attraction for her.

Tropical Depression Fay has cramped my style, though I'm not really complaining... much. I need money, and since taking on school full-time (math test tomorrow morning! :D) returning phone calls, giving bids, sleeping, etc. has been hard, and for the last two weeks, the only option I have had work-wise has been an exterior paint job. The class Saturday, from 8:30 to 2:00 leaves me two days a week to work, and they were both rained out. Now, I know I don't live in Florida, like my friend Melissa Drewry, And the bad timing couldn't have come at a better time, I was evidently (considering my E-seance) overdue for a little mental R&R. I even went to church (didja hear that, Chris Taylor?)!

Ol' Joe Has been working through a series on spiritual disciplines, and truly nailed me. This weeks message was on varieties of prayer, and the disciplines of self-denial: fasting, solitude, and such. The "podcast"  is worth checking out. Over the last few years, God has occasionally knocked indiscreetly on my forehead about this very issue. For some time he has patiently and repeatedly brought to my attention that consistent chunks of unstructured time, in silence, solitude and study are the next step for me. I tend to do enough along these lines that I can hold my own in an argument with my conscience but not enough for significantly deeper intimacy with God. Naturally enough, God hasn't been fooled, and I can no longer fool myself.

My! this post has gotten long, and the torrential downpour sounds awfully soothing.

Good night.

Jenny

Jenny, originally uploaded by use2blost.

Jenny is my good friend Ryan's wife (Gotta get a pic of Ryan, I don't have any) .I have really plugged my blog, in hopes that Jenny will drop by. She is so creative, I am hoping this humble little thing will inspire her to join the blogging community. She's got a helluva story. Anyway, I blogged her picture hoping it would be a pleasant surprise if she shows up :D

The Magic Donkey finds this interesting....

said donkey is a computer algorithm that ranks every photo uploaded to Flickr . Naturally, the specifics are a closely guarded secret. Flickrphiles speculate as to what makes the Magic Donkey neigh. amount of traffic to a photo is surely a factor, but other than that, none of the general public seems to know, which keeps it honest. The algorithm determines interestingness, and seems to work really well. 500 pictures a day are put up on explore and they are for the most part, interesting, really. Check it out. The explore page will give you a fresh picture every time you reload, as well as a few other browsing options.

Sadly, I have never had an explored photo. The lady above is rated by the Magic Donkey as my most interesting...#1. I don't even know her name. This is my #4 photo

 Go figure. 

Anyhow, my own theory, is that a high volume of traffic traffic from unlogged visitors/non-members, goes a long way to upgrading interestingness (hint, hint)